Relationship is a little bit difficult to be assessed objectively as we are the starring role in them. Having being the first person point of view, sometimes it’s hard for us to weigh in the health of the relationship itself. Not only that it can be hard, but we might also have some kind of fear to know that the relationship we have with our partner is considered to be toxic or even abusive.
Couples fight, of course, but to what extent it can still be tolerable in general or as society called “normal”? Before this, we have already covered a brief information about what abusive relationship is in a nutshell. After knowing a thing or two about abusive relationship, the next question is: how to know if you or anyone you know might be in an abusive relationship?
The Tell-Tale Signs of Abusive Relationship
As it has been said before, we have to address the issue and acknowledge that IT IS a problem. It might be painful to know if you or anyone you know are in fact in an abusive relationship. However, by knowing, at least we can move on to the right direction and figure out the solution to it.
Now, what are the sign of abusive relationship, really? You can begin by asking yourself if you’ve ever had any thoughts or feeling such as:
- Feeling afraid your partner much of the time
- Avoiding certain topics out of fear of angering your partner
- Feeling that you can’t do anything right for your partner
- Believing that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated
- Wondering if you’re the one who’s crazy
- Feeling emotionally numb or helpless
Then, you need to look out for some of the behaviour of your partner that are considered as signs of abuse. The key behaviour that we’re talking about are those of belittling and controlling behaviour, as well as violent behaviour or threats. Therefore, you need to ask yourself a series of questions on your partner’s behaviour, such as:
Does your partner has belittling behaviour like,
- Humiliating or yelling at you?
- Criticising you and put you down?
- Treating you so badly that you’re embarrassed for friends or family to see?
- Ignoring or putting down your opinions or accomplishments?
- Blaming you for their own misbehaviour?
- Seeing you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
Has your partner show any of these controlling behaviour:
- Acting excessively jealous and possessive
- Controlling where you go or what you do
- Isolating or keeping you from seeing friends and family
- Limiting your access to money, the phone or the car
- Constantly checking up on you
Are there indications of violent behaviours or threats on your partner such as:
- Bad and unpredictable temper
- Threats to hurt or kill you
- Threatening to take your children away or harm them
- Threatening to commit suicide if you leave
- Forcing you to have sex
- Destroying your belongings
So, What’s Next?
When it comes to abusive relationship or domestic violence, a lot of people think that it’s a condition when someone harms you physically. As we’ve established that abuse can also be in a form of verbal, mental and psychological. One thing to keep in mind is that we all need to acknowledge that it is still considered as an abuse even of the incidents seem minor or even just a few times.
If you’re questioning the health of your relationship, that’s okay. Please keep in mind that there is a way out.
You do not have to be talked to this way and treated this way. You have the right to tell them:
"You will treat me with respect. You will honor me."