Have you ever listened to your friends criticizing how their partners do not express the feelings of love—according to their standards? Or do you experience it yourself? This time, we will talk about various ways of expressing love, much more than the romantic mumbo-jumbo, it is about human behaviors in which we have to be more aware of different actions from each person. Fun fact, we all express our feelings differently. For each of us is a unique creature, so is our preference.
This theory is developed by Dr. Gary Chapman to answer to strengthen your relationship—even marriage, by explaining how each person gives and receive love. Failure to comprehend the concept will lead to disappointments in your love department.
You can start by reading this story where the woman grew up in a family that appreciates gift-giving habit and she ‘accidentally’ perceives that love must be expressed by giving something while her partner did not depart from the same viewpoint as her, consequently, no matter how hard her partner convinces that he loves her, she does not just believe it.
Take the quiz here or here to find out your love languages and check the brief explanation below!
Words of affirmation
According to Dr. Chapman, those who fall in this category prefer to express their feelings through words to affirm other people. Hearing compliments and the three magic words of “I love you” from your partner mean a lot to you. In contrast, any bad comment or harsh critiques can hurt you easily.
Quality time
People who have this preference find that full and undivided attention from their partner is very important behavior their partner should invest in their relationship. They love to spend time together, from taking on a trip until doing nothing at home on weekends with their partner. What they hate most are distractions, not being listened to, postponed schedule, or even when they feel their partner does not live in the present. Their partner’s eyes must always be on them!
Receiving gifts
Does not mean to sound materialistic, but if you get a high score in this category, you are the person who highly appreciates meaningful presents or gifts from your partners. You believe that if they love you, they should occasionally buy you stuff as the tokens of affection.
Acts of service
People who prefer the language of service believe that actions speak louder than mere words. They expect their partner to show how much they care by offering help or doing them a favour. Next time you have your computer broken, ask your partner and see if they can repair it for you or come up with other practical ideas.
Physical touch
People who thrive on the language of physical touch enjoy small gestures and physical connections such as hugging, hand-holding, kissing, taps on their shoulder, and other physical contacts. The more their partner touch them, they will feel deeply loved. Therefore, they are against the idea of physical abuse in a relationship.