When it comes to building inner peace whom you choose to befriend matters, since you will spend time with them and put energy on them, not to mention the process of exchanging ideas, looking for opinions and suggestions, also sharing secrets. It is very helpful to choose your friends wisely, and friends are supposed to be your support system too as they will help you to grow. So, if they fail to encourage you to be a better person, now is the right time to cut them off! Your time is too short and precious to deal with toxic people. So, spot and stop them quickly!
A long and deep conversation with your friends should be inspiring, encouraging, and eye-opening. In order to be like that, each of your voice must be heard and responded sincerely. If your friend only focuses on themselves that they do not bother to ask further about your perspective, always force the rest of the group to prioritise their needs, and a little bit cocky sometimes, they must be a narcissist. Sorry ladies, any of your ideas will most likely be unheard, and zero contribution will be given to you so that only their needs that should be fulfilled. They do not care about you, it is always about them, them, and them. What is the purpose of having a friend who never sincerely and thoroughly listen to your ideas or problems? Adios!
When discussing, sometime we love to exaggerate things to add more excitement to our story. Well, that’s normal. What is dangerous is when lying and exaggerating become the main essence in every story. Do not you realise, this type of toxic friends is just everywhere. Too many reasons they end up being a liar: they want to be known as an interesting story-teller, they want to gain popularity, they are just insecure with their true self, they do not want you to get mad; either way, it is none of our business. What we have to do is simply creating some space from them and brush them away.
Meeting friends and gossiping are two inseparable things—like it or not, there is always a risk of us talking about people or celebrities. While gossiping is very enjoyable, we should limit ourselves and decrease the frequency. When we talk something behind other’s back, it says more about us than about the person we are gossiping about. Cut the negative vibes off by avoiding avid gossipers who always influence you to talk crap behind others’ back. You do not know the real story about each person in this entire world, and there is always a reason behind what we decide to do. Instead of spreading rumours, try talking about ideas or other hot issues. Not only your knowledge would expand, but also you increase the chance of further opportunities that may coming your way.
The Jealous One
Other than gossipers, this type of toxic friends is also common. Why so? As we have stated before here, a female friendship can be competitive too; partly because from we were kids, we were told and have been expected to look feminine, strong enough to face our problems, and are able to get domestic chores done in a timely manner. All of these expectations can frustrate us without us realising it. However, there is a thin line between healthy competition and jealousy we must recognise. Jealous people can’t stand your success! According to their perspective, everyone else is uglier, lacking in some way, worse, uncool, and more negative traits you can possibly add. They are actually an insecure person whose self-hate can destruct positivity around them, and somehow want to control every single aspect—including the lives of their friends! Spot them by paying attention to the way they discuss about people with you. If they tend to jealously gossip about others, then probably they will do the same behind your back!
The Drama Queen
Love to exaggerate things is the easiest symptom to spot in a drama queen. Just be careful of a friend who sprinkles some spices to a plain story, keeps sweating small problems, loves making troubles continuously, easily explodes, and is hard to forgive. A healthy friendship should comfort you in a way that you are allowed to be your most vulnerable self and still be accepted as you are. A drama queen will be concerned of every inch of your weakness. It is indeed tiring to deal with this kind of person who will prefer to escalate a problem into a war than just speak it out and let it go.
Constructive criticism may hurt you a little bit inside but somehow, we need it until some extent, because not every single thing we decide to do is a positive action. Yet, the way criticism is being conveyed also matter a lot. A too-critical-friend will not get this idea, they sometimes just throw demeaning criticism for you in front of others just so other people may think less of you. Only by that way this type of toxic friend will feel better about themselves.
One day your friend told you how much they hate their neighbour, but today you found out they arranged a party without you being involved! Let us tell you, if you do not like someone, spare some time to calm down and settle the issue. But if you do not see the worthiness of it, you should know where the exit door is. One of keys to have a supportive and inspiring friendship is to like each other. Why should waste your time to faking it just to get things done? Do not pretend to like and adore your friends when deep down inside you find them somewhat disturbing. Watch out, fakers are the potential betrayers!
The Energy Drainer
That one friend whose stories are either sad, painful, pessimistic to tell! They keep complaining and oftentimes feel pessimistic even though it is crystal clear that they are capable enough. It is because their confidence level is just so low that they need us to ensure they are decent and enough—which most of the time will not work! Whenever you are with them you can’t simply light the spark, because they always bring the cloudy clouds wherever they go. The world is gloomy from their point of view.